"When Will The Turkey Be Done?" - True Story
by Adrienne Hernandez
It was Thursday morning, November 22, 2006 at 7:00 am. I woke up from a restful sleep, excited that I was going to make my first Thanksgiving dinner. I figured I had better go to the grocery store to pick up the things I needed. So, I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, grabbed my keys and headed to Walmart. I had no kid (at the time I only had Taevyn) and no Jeff. It was nice and relaxing. The store wasn't that busy since it was, afterall, Thanksgiving.
There I am, browsing the aisles, trying to decide what we should have for dinner. I picked up some Stove Top turkey stuffing, Betty Crocker instant spuds, Heinz homestyle turkey gravy, Pillsbury Grands biscuits, and the ingredients for my corn cassrole and my mother-in-law's fruit salad. (Yep, I'm not one for making things from scratch, so I nixed the yams and marshmallows and the green bean casserole.) I thought to myself, "maybe I should get some wine". No, I rarely drink the stuff, Jeff doesn't drink anything with alcohol, and Taevyn is too young. So, I opted for Grape Kool-Aid.
I proceeded to the checkout and paid for my groceries, headed home and started sorting my purchases. Jeff comes in the kitchen and asks "when will the turkey be done?"
My eyes grew big and without saying a word, I grabbed my keys, headed out the door and proceeded to make another trip to Walmart. The last few of the turkeys that were left were $1.25/lb or more. And to top it off, they were at least 20 lbs! Like my little family of three could really eat all that. Then to my pleasing eyes, and what I swore was the "Hallelujah Chorus" playing in the background, I saw a sign that says "Sale $0.79/lb". Not only were they cheap, they were pretty small too! I grabbed one of those birds, went to the checkout again, and paid for the foul.
I was so proud of myself that I had found the turkey I needed. I went home, turned on the oven, and here comes Jeff around the corner and says "when will the turkey be done?"
I said, with a huge grin on my face, "it shouldn't be to long, look how small it is."
He took one look at the turkey and burst out laughing. I asked him why he was laughing and he said, "take a look."
I looked at the bird sitting on the counter and it said "HEN" in huge letters! What the foul? How did I miss that! Now I didn't think that was too funny and told Jeff that if he thought he could do a better job, then he CAN go get the turkey. Of course he apologized because he didn't want to go to the store. So I, yet again, grabbed the keys, headed out the door, and proceeded to make yet ANOTHER trip to Walmart.
Back at the turkey bin, I thought to myself "a glass of wine would sure be good". Nope, don't need it. I looked at the very few $1.25/lb turkeys, grabbed the smallest turkey, which happened to be 21 lbs, went to the checkout line, paid for my bird, and headed back home.
Jeff comes around the corner and asks "when will the turkey be done?" I was thinking, "how do you cook a turkey?" I tell him I have to get online to get the directions. As I was reading, I noticed a line that said "place the thawed bird on a roaster".
"THAWED?!" "ROASTER?!" I can't win!! So, nearly in tears, I called my mother-in-law and asked her what is the fastest way to thaw a turkey. As she's telling me to soak it in cold water and to be sure to change the water every half hour, I could sense the hee hees and the ha has being held back in her voice.
I thanked her kindly, hung up the phone, which I'm sure she was laughing histerically after the conversation, and put my bird in a sinkful of cold water. Then, yep, you guessed it! I grabbed my keys, headed out the door, and proceeded back to Walmart. Now I'm in a hurry and the store is getting busy. I was thinking "why aren't these people at home enjoying their day off?" and "where is that wine aisle?" Nope, don't have time to go across the other side of the store to get the wine. I rushed down the pot and pan aisle, grabbed a disposable roast pan, went to the checkout, waited in line for what seemed to be eternity, grabbed my keys, headed to the car and you will NEVER believe this! Yep, I forgot my roaster at the checkout. I ran back inside, grabbed my pan, went back to the car, headed home, and turned the oven back on.
The day goes by and I'm trying to enjoy myself while changing turkey water every half hour. By this time it was about 5:30 pm and the turkey is FINALLY thawed. (And yes, I DID remove the neck and giblets from the body cavity!) I put the bird in the oven as Jeff comes around the corner and asks "when will the turkey be done?" "Hopefully soon," I replied. I had forgotten how long I was supposed to leave it in the oven, so I had to get back online. According to BHG.com, I had to bake this thing for 4 hours and 30 minutes to 4 hours and 45 minutes!!! WHERE'S THAT WINE?!!
I just wanted to give up and bake the frozen pizza that was in the freezer. But, I decided to persist and was determined to make this a success, without the wine, nonetheless! Now it was about 10:00 pm and I start making the rest of the dinner.
FINALLY, everything was ready and I set the table and we got to eat! And do you know what time it was? It was 11:45 pm!!! And THAT, my dear friends, was when the turkey was done!!
HAPPY TURKEY DAY EVERYBODY!!!
My First Thanksgiving Dinner
© 2009 Adrienne Hernandez - All Rights Reserved
So, tell me, what was your first Thanksgiving like?